Tell me if you've noticed this too?

Over the last few years it's getting harder to do hard things.

When I was younger, discipline came easily. But as I've gotten older that's changed. It's become a struggle.

It got me asking myself "Am I becoming lazier as I get older? Or is there something else behind it?"

So I did some research and here's what I've found out:

It's not my fault.

It's the world we live in now.

Turns out, I’m not lazy. I’m just living in a world that makes discipline harder than ever.

Let me explain.

It's all because of 1 thing.

Convenience.

There's too much of it.

Things didn't used to be so easy. You had to put effort in. But now it's too easy to get what you want without putting in any effort.

We're constantly conditioned by comfort in our lives.

Food is no longer a struggle. Who needs to cook when you can order food from Uber eats.

Why go to the shop when Amazon can deliver what you want with a single tap of a button.

No need to wait all week to watch your favorite show. Thanks to Netflix, it’s bingeable, skippable, and instantly forgettable.

Instant gratification without the need for struggle, discipline or friction.

It all seems harmless but it's softened us up. Now we get worked up at the slightest delay. How many times have you got frustrated when an app is taking a second longer to load?

The more comfortable you get, the harder hard things get. The less friction you're able to tolerate. But it's not your fault. Your biology has been hacked.

I'll go through how comfort affects our dopamine but first let me explain how the body normally uses dopamine.

Your body releases dopamine as a reward for doing something that requires effort. Its a way to make you feel good for putting in the effort. But when things are convenient, there's less effort needed for the same dopamine hit. This distorts the system.

A large amount of dopamine from a small amount of effort. It doesn't sound that bad until you understand that your dopamine stores are limited and take time to recharge. So when your brain learns that you can do something easy for a greater amount of dopamine, it reduces the drive to put the effort in. Because it doesn't feel as good. You get less of a reward compared to the small effort and big reward you got from choosing the comfortable option.

Your default becomes the comfortable option. You develop a psychological roadblock to doing hard things. The longer you do this, the more your ability to tolerate discomfort shrinks.

Your capability to deal with friction either rises to your level of resilience or falls to your level of comfort.

Once you're aware of this psychological roadblock to doing hard things, you can play around with it.

You can now choose the ease or difficulty you're willing to endure.

You can choose to do small, hard things often and build your resilience.

It's as simple as taking small steps out of your comfort zone regularly. Playing with small steps out of your comfort zone slowly expands the range of what you can deal with. After a year of continuous play with this, what felt difficult last year becomes a walk in the park. Eventually your workout becomes your warm up.

Here's how I'm planning to take small steps out of my comfort zone to build my resilience:

1. No social media until after work

Your first 5 minutes of waking defines your day

How you set your dopamine threshold on waking decides your capability to do hard things during the rest of the day. Scrolling first thing in the morning is one of the worst ways to start your day. Like I mentioned above, doing something easy for a greater amount of dopamine, reduces the drive to put the effort in for harder things later in the day.

So when you scroll first thing, you're telling your brain to crave ease and avoid effort. You're day is spent chasing comfort instead of making momentum.

2. Grey scale mode

Grey scale mode is a simple change that reduces phone usage and improves digital wellbeing.

A study on the effect of grey scale mode reported lower social media use and a reduced urge to check the phone. The theory is that by reducing the visual appeal of the screen reduces the urge to check your phone. But when you do check it you're not distracted towards the attractive apps, you're more present and intentional.

I've tried this in the past and found it:

• reduced my screen time considerably.

• made my phone use more intentional.

• Improved mental clarity and focus.

But life led to me falling back into old habits.

Now I'm planning to use this again for the majority of the day.

3. The Plus One Challenge

I'm challenging myself to do something daily that slowly but consistently forces me to do something harder each day.

I'm calling it the Plus One challenge.

Each day I'll increase the amount of press ups I need to do by 1 each day. It starts easy but it gets progressively harder as the month goes on. Each day becomes a small step out of my comfort zone. Each increase is a chance to practice pushing past the psychological resistance that's been holding me back.

Each day is a chance to stretch my tolerance for discomfort.

Hard things haven’t changed. We have.

We’re not broken.

We’ve just adapted to a world that makes discipline difficult.

But the good news is you can train yourself to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Every small, hard thing you choose to do is a step towards resilience. A signal to your brain that discomfort isn't dangerous, but a chance for growth.

Navigating discomfort is a skill. And just like any skill, it gets easier the more you practice.

"Pain is inevitable, Suffering is chosen" — Haruki Murakami

In the end, you can choose to avoid doing hard things, or you can choose to do them.

Each option is going to bring suffering.

You just need to decide which one you're willing to endure.

P.S.

I share one small idea every Sunday to help you make life a little better.

Just simple, useful stuff you can actually use.

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