Most people graduate thinking education is over. Then life kicks them in the teeth.

School teaches you to pass tests. It doesn't prepare you for reality.

Turns out, In life the learning comes after the test, not before it.

Every day has a test. If you pay attention, each teaches you a lesson. These can change your life in different ways.

One might make you better at work.

Another might make you better in your personal life.

And another might make you better with your friends and loved ones.

Once in a while, you'll come across a lesson that can ripple through all these areas and have a profound effect on your life. I'm talking truly levelling up your life in a way you never thought possible.

In the last few years (since I've started paying more attention), I've come across 3 powerful lessons that have reshaped my life. I want to share them with you, and hopefully they can help you the way they helping me.

I did start writing this with the aim of sharing them all in one. But it got too long. So I've split it into 3 parts:

1. Take Radical Responsibility For Your Life

2. Live In Abundance

3. Reframe Fear of Change as an opportunity for growth

This week I'm sharing part 1:

Part 1: Take Radical Responsibility for Your Life

Stop looking for someone else to blame.

Not where you want to be in life?

Look in the mirror. That's who's responsible.

It's your responsibility to do what you need to do to get where you need to get to.

Inside you is an unstoppable force for change. But when you think you're a victim of circumstances you give this force away.

Responsibility is the key to getting it back.

That only happens the moment you take responsibility for everything that's in your control — And I mean everything in your control. Even something as simple as your attitude.

You're not responsible for something that happens outside of your control. But you're responsible for what you do next.

Everything out of your control can be going against you. You might feel like there's nothing you can control. But you can always control small things, like your attitude. You can take responsibility for that.

Taking responsibility for your attitude seems like it's something that's toothless.

But even in taking responsibility for this, there's bite.

Something as simple as a positive attitude can give you control over your circumstances.

Instead of them being something that is happening to you. You can reframe it, through the right attitude, as something that's happening for you. A simple shift that tips the scale.

However, there's an important nuance to keep in mind...

Hold yourself to account like a judge, but be compassionate with yourself like a mother.

One thing to remember when holding yourself to account, is the language you use with yourself.

This is where the nuance comes in. It's easy to make the mistake of confusing responsibility for blame.

You can fall into the trap of blaming yourself. Avoid this at all costs. Blame puts fault at your feet, whereas responsibility is about taking ownership. There's a difference.

When it comes to taking responsibility, you need to hold yourself to account for everything in your control. But it's important to do this through a lens of self-compassion.

How you talk to yourself is important. It can either help you rise to a challenge or break under it's pressure.

But here's something that's often underestimated, you get to choose the words you speak to yourself.

This can generally go two ways:

• Either you speak harshly and add more crushing pressure on yourself.

• Or you speak to yourself like a nurturing mother would, using compassion to create a frame that sets you up for success.

You get to choose. Choose wisely.

Radical Responsibility In a Nutshell

If I had to summarise radical responsibility down to 3 things to remember, it would be these:

1. Hold yourself to account for everything in your control

2. Don't blame. Focus on what can be better next time.

3. Use kind words to set yourself up for success

This week, I challenge you to take radical responsibility for one thing.

Hold yourself accountable, skip the blame, and use kind words with yourself.

Notice what changes when you do.

Radical responsibility is the foundation. Master this, and everything else becomes possible.

Next time, I'll share part 2: Living in Abundance.

That's when things get really interesting.

P.S. Enjoyed this issue of Marginal Gains?

If you found something interesting, insightful, or worth sharing, consider subscribing to get future issues delivered straight to your inbox.

It’s free, and you won’t miss a thing!